Submitted by: Colleen Langenfeld

Defiant behavior in children often goes along these lines.

“I am not doing that! You can’t make me!”

“I don’t have to listen to you. You’re stupid!”

“No, I’m not going to bed. What are you going to do about it?”

Does this sound like your home? If so, Mom or Dad, may I politely inquire: what ARE you going to do about it?

– Start with the root cause.

Defiant behavior, in all its various forms can be summed up in one word. Disrespect. That’s good news because now we know clearly what we need to do to.

We need to bring respect into our homes.

Now the only question is, how?

– Straightforward answers.

When you intentionally decide to saturate your home life with respect, something almost magical happens.

* Homework starts getting done. On time.

* Random acts of kindness start bubbling up here and there.

* A spirit of cooperation invades your home.

Clearly, something changes. Powerfully and profoundly.

What does it look like in a family to pro actively cultivate a way of life grounded on respect? Here are just a few ideas.

* Parents come first. Not because they are insecure snobs, but because the family structure is built upon them. If they fall, the family will be permanently wounded. If they stay strong, the children grow off of their strength.

This means that parents who are disrespectful to one another have virtually no hope of solving the defiance problems in their children. If you want a respectful home, it starts at the top, with Mom and Dad.

* Next comes the family. To breed respect in a family, you must spend significant time as a family. Relationships must be developed. A strong sense of teamwork needs to glue everyone together.

How does this happen? By doing chores together. Playing games together. Eating meals together. This also means doing fewer things apart. When a family literally lives its corporate life together, people learn they can count on each other. They learn that Dad and Mom will make whatever sacrifices are necessary to take care of the family unit. They learn that people are far more important than things, trends or popular culture. Respect thrives in an atmosphere like that.

In short, work hard, play hard. But do it all together as a family. Be fiercely loyal to one another and don’t let anyone or anything interfere with being together.

* Worship together. Leading your family in a walk of faith requires respectful behavior. Learning that you are a part of a bigger picture and finding ways to help out your fellow human travelers compels children (and adults) to think of ways to help others. That’s what respect is all about.

Another benefit of this idea is that when you surround your children with other families of similar values you are reinforcing those values you are teaching at home. From your child’s perspective, it’s one thing to know that Mom and Dad think we should be respectful. It’s another to actually see other people living out those values, too.

* Watch what you let in your home. Have you watched the TV shows your kids are watching lately? Listened to their music? There’s a wealth of disrespect in the media. It’s no wonder we have an epidemic of defiant behavior in our homes and schools.

Are you really ready to put a stop to the defiant behavior in your child? The work is challenging but the way is clear. Make growing a respectful home a priority and see what happens.

About the Author: Is your child dishing out too much drama? Let Colleen Langenfeld show you proven tips on parenting you can use right now at http://www.paintedgold.com . Get a free behavior log plus more key strategies of dealing with

defiant behavior in children

today.

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